Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Drunk is a universal language darling
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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