the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We need to get me chipped asap
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
