I want to walk on stilts...naked
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
