I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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