I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
This is classic penis vs brain.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
