And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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