What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
