No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
