Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
