Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize