Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
