Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
