So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
