i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
