those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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