unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
