So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Pants are for mortals
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