Three words: puerto rican gang bang
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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