I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize