I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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