Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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