But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
