Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
