and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize
