Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
