Texts From Last Night

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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  1:48 am: your uglier

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  (901) 1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man (423) 1:48 am: your uglier http://tfl.nu/ln5v
  Replies (6) Good night (1413) Bad night (1908)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert

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  (586): I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert http://tfl.nu/fz38
  Replies (2) Good night (751) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?

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  (631): Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later? http://tfl.nu/fnnu
  Replies (13) Good night (2021) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it

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  (210): i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it http://tfl.nu/c88z
  Replies (26) Good night (3562) Bad night (948)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.

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  (208): We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands. http://tfl.nu/sr1t
  Replies (26) Good night (6197) Bad night (1021)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.

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  (440): im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology. http://tfl.nu/d4l9
  Replies (14) Good night (3216) Bad night (1641)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.

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  (724): I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do. http://tfl.nu/rr6r
  Replies (20) Good night (1285) Bad night (2212)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox

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  (734): nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox http://tfl.nu/ge10
  Replies (4) Good night (1311) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower

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  (508): I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower http://tfl.nu/2amr
  Replies (1) Good night (625) Bad night (305)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.

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  (954): Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache. http://tfl.nu/s2zl
  Replies (3) Good night (943) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!

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  (727): Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW! http://tfl.nu/6dh9
  Replies (5) Good night (1088) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse

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  (914): The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse http://tfl.nu/jfot
  Replies (5) Good night (840) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?

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  (541): I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night? http://tfl.nu/w38g
  Replies (2) Good night (685) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her

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  (619): Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her http://tfl.nu/c5p9
  Replies (5) Good night (671) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.

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  (586): I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot. http://tfl.nu/mvye
  Replies (0) Good night (242) Bad night (317)

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