Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
