Texts From Last Night

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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I can tuck mytits in my pants

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  (573): I can tuck mytits in my pants http://tfl.nu/5g26
  Replies (27) Good night (536) Bad night (2685)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.

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  (360): So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor. http://tfl.nu/jcpz
  Replies (9) Good night (3462) Bad night (560)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.

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  (203): a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up. http://tfl.nu/5e3h
  Replies (76) Good night (1178) Bad night (8070)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye

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  (301): guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye http://tfl.nu/qvf8
  Replies (34) Good night (604) Bad night (4246)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later

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  (903): Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later http://tfl.nu/a1zy
  Replies (19) Good night (8664) Bad night (989)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..

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  (630): Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.. http://tfl.nu/pq67
  Replies (7) Good night (4047) Bad night (1728)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...

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  (775): I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral... http://tfl.nu/9wf7
  Replies (28) Good night (5347) Bad night (1581)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?

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  (+61): i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason? http://tfl.nu/33o5
  Replies (7) Good night (2878) Bad night (1076)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.

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  (239): Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox. http://tfl.nu/ld2z
  Replies (2) Good night (2518) Bad night (707)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.

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  (215): There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions. http://tfl.nu/xynj
  Replies (1) Good night (1893) Bad night (536)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".

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  (610): Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember". http://tfl.nu/q5o1
  Replies (4) Good night (2049) Bad night (525)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'

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  (509): I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?' http://tfl.nu/4a3m
  Replies (7) Good night (2098) Bad night (505)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.

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  (920): If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it. http://tfl.nu/moud
  Replies (7) Good night (813) Bad night (325)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.

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  (978): Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke. http://tfl.nu/qgmx
  Replies (1) Good night (786) Bad night (261)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?

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  (301): Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/e5g1
  Replies (3) Good night (205) Bad night (991)

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