we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God