I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
What drink are we having for lunch?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
