remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
