Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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