i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
