She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
