I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize