So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I'm really busy with my period
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
