just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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