This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
