I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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