i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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