hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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