Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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