So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
