I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
