My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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