Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
