Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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