...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
