and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize