NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
