someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
