I seem to have left my pride at pride
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize