I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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