If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
