Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
