I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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