I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
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Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize