it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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