I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
