And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
