Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
