I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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