Will you blow on my dice?
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
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When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
false alarm, still single
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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