I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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