haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
In America we eat man semen.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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