Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Do vagina's smell?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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