I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
