I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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