you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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