i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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