Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
