They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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