I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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